It has been a long time since I have written, I know. I want to assure you; it was not my intent to stay away that long. In fact, sitting in my draft box here, I have a semi-good post about the Avengers Movie that I am still trying to finish. However, a lot of things have happened in the past few weeks, and I’m sure it will eventually make fantastic work for future blogs. However, the most important thing that has been happening in my life now is ADJUSTMENT.
Green Lantern has officially taken his leave to go fight his own form of Parallax in the desert. It has been approximately two and a half weeks now I think, and I can finally say that I have found a way to function.
I hate to admit that I, Batgirl, could possibly have any trouble adjusting to life without Green Lantern. I am, after all, a superhero in my own right. I have fought my own battles, and came out on top. I am very proud of who I am, and hate asking for help. However, I never realized how much I relied on Green Lantern. When we were together, almost without even realizing it, we grew from being two separate beings with two separate agendas, to one life, with one common goal. We were comfortable. We were happy. We completed each other’s lives in a way that was fulfilling and beautiful and almost as natural as breathing.
As I was standing in the hanger, watching my husband walk away from me, holding his wedding ring in my hand (still warm from his finger), I didn’t feel anything. I watched the other wives sobbing around me, or the others just trying to hold themselves together and wondered when it would hit me. It wasn’t that day. I gathered up my things, went home, did homework. I had a very normal, mildly productive day. I made myself dinner. I took care of our animals. I cleaned the house. I kept my hands busy and my mind empty. I went to work, I started a new extracurricular activity for the kids after school (which I will post about at a later date, because it does mean quite a lot to me), and started working on my own projects. I finished my finals for the quarter, and tried to make plans with the other people around me. I started an exercise plan and slowly cleaning up my diet to get healthier.
It finally hit me about a week and a day after he left. After making a huge, heroic effort, BG finally broke. When Green Lantern called, it was all I could to try and talk through my tears. Just looking at him made my heart ache. This led to a bad week for me. Green Lantern and I were running on opposite schedules, so we couldn’t find much time to talk at all. Neither one of us had a lot of time for writing. My frustration boiled and I found it harder to focus on my own projects and keep myself busy, especially with a difficult week at work.
By weekend, after finally finding some time to get a good night’s sleep, I finally set to figuring out my stride. I made a very important decision: If Green Lantern was on an opposite schedule, I would find a way to accommodate it. I started finding a way to go to bed early, so that when he wakes me up in the middle of the night, I can be coherent enough to actually talk to him. So far, it has done wonders to improve my mood, though I haven’t quite figured out how to fix the problem of me being super tired. Ce la Vie… this is a learning process.
All I can think of doing at this point is keep moving forward. I had forgotten from Batman’s deployments when I was younger how difficult it could be to be separated. This is in many ways worse, because the love has transferred from daughter to father to wife to husband. Both, of course, are strong, but in different ways. However, as I settle in for the long haul of this deployment, I try to take comfort in the fact that My Lantern will always find a way back to me.