Anticipation

Green Lantern. Green Lantern. Green Lantern.

My mind just keeps repeating it over and over at this point. I am not comprehending anything but the fact that I am so close to him that I can almost taste it. We have reached the point now where after almost 6 months, we are finally just days from R&R. DAYS. I could almost count the hours at this point.

On one level, I feel a kind of numbing disbelief. Day after day and week after week of waiting, it seems almost impossible that it is practically upon us. I have been working so hard to fill my time, that the prospect of being whisked away and finally meeting Green Lantern again is intoxicating. I can’t focus on ANYTHING to save my life! I have thrived on the hustle and bustle of this week: cleaning the house, gathering up our things, and packing the suitcases. However, I am finding myself coming to the end of my To-Do-Before-Travel list, and I am left with more time to think.

Nervousness often follows the disbelief. I know that sounds so silly; I married Green Lantern after all. However, with so much time between us, I find myself wondering about what exactly it’s going to be like. How am I going to navigate these airports on my way into Asia? What is my Lantern going to think when he sees me? Will the time fly by so fast that I will feel like I blinked and it was over? How is it gonna feel when half through I realize he is going away again? How will I stand the heartbreak of standing there, watching him go again?

I try to turn my thoughts almost immediately when they start heading in this negative direction. I want to cherish and love the time I have with him, and not worry or focus on the fact that the time is limited and short. I am so blessed that I get to see him at all, and better yet, that I get to meet him on a tropical paradise where we can forget about the world for a while. This puts me in a frame of mind for remembering. I find myself reminiscing about cuddling on the couch with him watching movies and eating popcorn, while drinking root beer floats. I miss pulling the extra mattress out into  the living room and “camping,” even though he complained about how it made his back hurt. I hold the memories of going out to dinner in town, wandering new cities, and slowly morphing his apartment into “our home” close to my heart.  I even  must have gone back this week and watched videos from our wedding 5 or 6 times, just to see and remember the way he moves and the way he smiles.

That’s when the real excitement sets in. New pictures. New places. New Memories to hold onto when goes back to war, and I come back to the realities of home. I get to be reminded of exactly what it feels like when he takes my hand and kisses my head. I get to hear his voice, without the feedback of the Skype call or the video. I can re-memorize the exact color or his eyes, or the temperature of his skin. How did I get so lucky? My heart just feels like it is going to burst out of my chest, I’m so happy, and I have never been more ready to see my Green Lantern.

Til next time,

BG

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