The Freeze Ray that Stops Time

Hello all,

I pretty much just have one thing to say today, and it has been on my mind for probably about a week now. To whoever is sitting around messing with my clocks and making time putter along at a snail’s pace…CUT IT OUT!

I have been home for a couple of weeks now, and I noticed something very strange. While this deployment has not been moving really fast, there was at least a particular pace to it. There was a rhythm. I didn’t necessarily like it… but I was willing to deal. It had spots where it slowed down a little, and I thought that November would never come, but without fail it did.

Mid-tour passed too quickly. I would describe it as trying to hold water in your cupped hands. You can only hold it for so long before it starts slipping through your fingers. I was positive as I got on a plane on the opposite side of the airport as Green Lantern that I had blinked, and our time together was already over. That was almost more painful than the long lead-up to the deployment before it started. At least at that time, I had been given A LOT of time to process. When I got back from mid-tour, the few weeks I had before I turned around and got on a plane for another 20 hour travel day went fairly fast. That was just because I was super busy trying to get everything ready and clean before I left. I had animals to take care of, arrangements to make, Christmas presents to wrap and mail to get out. It always seems that at the holiday season that time is short anyway, and I was completely grateful for it. The three weeks at home with my family passed quickly. Not only did I have people all around me at all times, but it was mostly people who I really cared about and had truly missed for over a year. By the time I came back home, I was tired, but I would say I was as happy as I can be with Green Lantern off in the sandbox.

That leads me to now. Two weeks later. ONLY two weeks later. After a heroic effort of cleaning my house, washing all of the laundry plus bedding, towels, and puppy stuff, reorganizing my closet, trying to find the right sleep and workout schedules, restocking my pantry, finishing three books and countless art or design projects, I feel like I have officially hit groundhog day. Everyday is just the same thing, over and over again. To be honest, sometimes I don’t even think the date changes. I look at a calendar and think “why isn’t January over yet?” I look at the clocks and swear that sometimes they just don’t run at all. I find it completely infuriating. It is as if time has slowed to a crawl just to mock the fact that I have been living here for months on end without my Lantern. Let me tell you… it SUCKS.

There is nothing I want more in the world then my husband back, safe and sound, with me. During the day, it’s ok. I get out, I take care of the things that I need to do. I have the animals. They are long, but manageable. In the evenings, when I’m settling down, I find myself feeling either like I have drank too much caffeine and can’t quite get comfortable, or inescapably lonely. I’m exhausted, but I lay in bed or on the couch and don’t fall asleep.  Now, in what most people would call the home stretch, I am having more problems than I have encountered up to this point. I don’t sleep as well. I miss him so much more every day. Nothing completely  fills my time, and I am always distracted.The animals are drawing off of me, and getting just as restless. I’m sure it has to be frustrating for them too, though they probably don’t know why. We are all off.

What can I do but press on? I know that this, like the slow patches before mid-tour will pass. Someday soon I’m going to start that deep cleaning of the house so it will be spotless before he comes back. I’ll take that commissary run to stock the house will all of the things he loves. I’ll venture out on the German economy to find those special touches he insists that he needs. I’ll arrange and rearrange where I have put everything, trying to settle on just the right balance for when he walks in. I’ll start prepping and pre-making food so I don’t have to lose the time with him. Someday soon. But after all of this time, I just can’t help but feel that it isn’t soon enough. It could be tomorrow, and it still wouldn’t be soon enough for me. I have a NEED for my Lantern, and I can’t just put it off like I have been doing up to this point.

Especially in my small community, I think all of us wives can agree. I am positive that I am not the only one feeling this way. Plain and simple, it is just time to bring the soldiers home.

Have a good day everybody! Hope you aren’t stuck in a rut like me.

BG

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Bring on the New Year

Hello All,

Well many things have happened since I wrote last. Notably, the world tried to end, and failed in the most epic way possible. The holidays came and passed. 2012 disappeared into the past, and was replaced by 2013. Personally, I think it’s a good thing. 13 has always been lucky for me. Also notably, in my world at least, I went home. I went home for the first time in well over a year.

As much as Green Lantern and I love living in Europe, it has gotten very lonely since my Lantern has been gone. You miss a lot of things that are going on with your circles of friends and family. Travel is not as much fun when you are alone. Likewise, once the holiday season hit, it became that much more apparent that I was stunningly alone. I wished so much that I could be with him, and as I started to decorate the house and try and get in the spirit of the season, I found myself lacking a serious amount of happiness and excitement. That was why I knew the time was right; it was time to go back to the states and see my family.

There were two main reasons for me to come back. My daddy, Batman, was finally retiring from the Air Force. The second was to meet my new niece. In June, Green Lantern’s sister and her husband had welcomed their first child. I would of course give her a superhero identity… but I thought I would let her grow up a little first. 🙂

What can I say about my little super niece? To say the least, it was quite an amazing experience. I am the first to admit that I don’t know a whole lot about babies. I worked in the schools to be sure, but before three, my experience level goes to practically zero. When she was in a good mood, she was an absolute joy. She smiled and laughed,  loved to play, and never cried once when handed to me (a fear I had been harboring since I approached the concept of seeing her). That was definitely a plus. Getting off the plane, my sister-in-law practically threw the baby at me so we could get aquatinted. She looked at me with these big, dark eyes… and I got a feeling slightly akin to falling in love. She was so pretty, so interested in this new, random person who was suddenly holding her.

However, on the down side, I also happened to choose the week that she had two new teeth coming in. Now I can’t say this with 100% certainty because Green Lantern and I aren’t parents, but after spending the week with that little girl, I would be tempted to say that teething is the experience that tells you whether or not you are really cut out to be a parent. Pegging purely on that, I was almost tempted to give her the identity Siryn. For those of you who aren’t familiar with her, she is one of the X-men, and her super power was her super sonic screams that could incapacitate her foes. Let me tell you, once she felt the pain, she was loud and proud and ready to let everyone know it. Location did not matter; needless to say it made for some very long car rides.

After spending a week in the north, I flew back south to join my side of the family for the first main event of 2013. The retirement ceremony, noting Batman’s 30 years of devout and amazing service to the military, was moving. I can honestly say that the pride that swelled in my chest was one of the strongest sensations I had felt. Not just for him, but that fact that I came from him. We truly are a family of heroes. And seeing it, hearing all of these wonderful things that people were saying about him and how he changed their lives, I was amazed. He really, truly changed the world. It filled me with aspirations. I felt like I was a child again; I wanted to be like him. I wanted to mean that much to the people who have me in their life. I want them to look at me and be inspired too, just like Batman did for me, and continues to do every day. It certainly gave me something to think about as we move into the next year.

2013. I am excited to see what is in store for me. Green Lantern will finally be coming home. New travels and worlds to explore. New friends, or new experiences with old ones. Knocking one more thing off of my bucket list. I feel like, as I sit here right now, anything is possible, and this year is the year to make it all happen.

See you next time!

BG